Personality Disorder Uneducation

Maybe it is just me, as a person with a personailty disorder, that wishes that more people had a little more knowledge and understanding about them. I was told I had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder when I was 7, but we’re not talking clean the house like a manic OCD, I would have to tap things 3 times, I had to mentally picture a series of things, breath a certain way during scary movies, or touch everything with my right hand after I had been leaning on it with my left, to make sure my day was going to be okay. I would stress and stress if I saw something bad until I made it right, and that’s how I felt I could right it. Over the years more symptoms occur, you get misdiagnosed, then keep feeling shitty until someone finally figures it out. I do still believe I have OCD (we’re pretty sure it’s hereditary in my family), but I know how to control it to an extent. Over May 2-4 weekend, I met my best friend Laurie aka “My Wife”. As I spent more time with her I found out that not only was she a raging lesbian, but bipolar as well, and everytime I talked to her it was like someone finally knew how I felt. Alot of her sympoms were ones that I was having, and after doing some research, I believe I’m Bipolar, but the Doctor is waiting on test results. Bipolar Disorder is defined on wikipedia.org as “not a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders defined by the presence of one or more episodes of abnormally elevated mood.” There are 4 different types of bipolar, the most common is from being super happy to the lowest low. I live every day of my life, and have since I was 7, with a personality disorder, and I know that all I want is for people to understand. It adds more strain to know that people who aren’t educated, would think that you’re crazy or treat you differently if you were to tell them you have a personality disorder when you first meet them. I used to think all schizophrenics would wrap a helmet in tinfoil, make antennas and think aliens were coming to get them, or if you’ve ever seen Donnie Darko, think giant rabbits named Frank are telling them to commit arson. That stems from miseducating. I thought that even after knowing for years I had OCD. Then I met Shannon, who I didn’t think was completely normal (in her defense she was drunk when I met her), but did not expect to her to be schizo, and she is one of the funniest people I have ever met. Same with my wife. Had I written them off thinking they were crazy I would’ve missed out on alot of really really great times. I like to feel I’m relatively open minded about people though. I’m not saying go read up all you can about it, I’m just saying that sometimes, if someone seems negative and it seems like it’s all the time, or if someone seems a little spaced, or can have a mood swing that could rock your socks at any given time, that doesn’t mean they’re not good people. Good, smart, relatively normal people. People don’t announce they have a personailty disorder, but if someone were to be giving them shit for freaking out over absolutely nothing, or being too depressing, the only way to explain the situation to people (and tell the truth), people would think you’re making it up. I know I’ve rambled on, but it sucks living life this way, and feels like my life would be so much easier if I just didn’t have it, but I wouldn’t be me. Yeah, I am a little crazy, but it has nothing to do with bipolar. I just have a really sick(dirty)twisted(dirty) mind. All I’m trying to say is that we are people too, and we have to deal with personality disorders every day of our lives. We’re the jocks, the cool kids, the dude at the gas station, the person in the row infront of you. And all that we want is to be understood. All I want is to be understood. Maybe this explains alot about why I am the way I am. I hope just me as an example can help you begin to understand, and the understanding itself helps you be more educated on the subject. Please check out the link.